Stay with friendship

Fucking a best friend is a recipe for disaster. I guess this is obvious to many, but I have done it a few times and the net result was the loss of a friend. It probably works out long term for many as it blossoms into a beautiful relationship, but my marriage started with attraction, dating, fucking and the friendship grew from there.  Yes, we are best friends now. Anyway, having a mental connection with a friend often makes you wonder - or one of persons - about going further. In one case, I had a great relationship with a co-worker (yes, another no-no is dipping the pen in the work ink) as we talked about work and then everything - we would go out with work groups and always end up near each other. Then one late night at work, we grabbed some food and end up making out and fucking at a local park. One aside, having sex on a park bench in the moonlight is awesome. Anyway, it continued for a while and then fizzled, and we are no longer friends. Another example, and the biggest disaster, was a co-worker where there was a strong connection - we talked about everything, just deep, engrossing chatter. We went to classes, shared writing, went to some movies and there was never really any thought of undressing (at least for me) until a moment when our eyes met and she suggested it. We made out and I backed off, but eventually we were hot and heavy - fucking in the back of cars, hotel rooms, my office, our homes, and on and on. The bad part is the sex was never that good - she gave great head, but that was it. It all went up in flames as she wanted a future and I wanted to remain friends (yes, I'm stupid) and now we no longer talk. It's been five plus years, she is now married as I am and I miss the conversations, the laughter and I know that is stupid as well. It is weird to get so close to someone, to know them, to talk almost everyday, to love to discuss things and then they are gone - separated by only a few miles, but no chance of every talking. So weird to realize you will never see or talk to a person again - forever is a long time.