A family hangover

Time with my family is an excrutiating experience. The tension in the room is almost unbearable. We gathered last night to celebrate my niece's birthday - hard to believe she is now 30, I changed her diapers, held her when cooed and cried, she was a wonderful baby and now a wonderful person. Unfortunately, spending time with her means dear ole mom and sister standing nearby. My mom can suck every atom of positive energy from the room. She's not a debbie-downer, she's a debbie-I want to kill myself. Nothing is ever good enough, and it is always somebody else's fault. She loves to be involved in everybody's business and spreads it endlessly. She stood nearby as I talked to my sister, her husband, and my own wife - the look on her face was grim. I immediately noticed the overwhelming sadness dripping from her. I wanted to run, no I wanted to punch her in the throat, but I stood there played the game while exchanging knowing/secretive glances with my sister and wife.

Well, I survied the party/night and didn't think much more of it until the next day - today. I sorta slept walk through the day, I was able to complete a few planned chores, bu there seemed to be a dark cloud following me around, and I finally realize it is the residuals from last night. Yes, a family hangover, I need ot stand up and shout, I need positive reinforcement, a return to my sense of self - something to lift me out of this abyss. I now fear tomorrow, fear waking up and encountering a problem getting up and trying to face a day of work. I am inclined to take a personal day to focus on stopping it before it comes. I am rambling, wish me luck tomorrow.