Get off that high horse

Fucking another man's wife/spouse is easier than you may think. Well, let me first say that you have to choose wisely - that is, find a woman (or a man) who feels neglected. You show them a little attention (yeah, listen to their inane stories like you care) and you're in the door. What you do once inside is up to you. It's funny when an affair is revealed to others around these people, they act like they are shocked, oh how could this happen or why did they do it. Does anybody not pay attention to statistics and how many people actually screw around - it's a high number and probably higher than reported since many do it and are never caught or they never reveal it. I haven't done it in quite some time, but the last one was a doozy.

We were co-workers when we first met, and I can specifically tell you when I decided I wanted to bag her. We were at a friend/co-workers house for a gathering under the flimsy guise of a book club. Truth be told, most of the people never read the assigned book and the discussion only briefly focused on the book before going on to more interesting topics (most of the time sex). Anyway, the talk is going round and round and there is talk of how guys are about sex and women and then strip clubs. This woman boldly tells us all that her husband never goes to such places and he never would because he respects her to much. Yeah, that sound like a woman that knows nothing about her mate or men in general? The talk extended to affairs and the rumor about one co-worker who fucked another when she knew the guy was married and she expounds on how horrible the whole matter is and why would a woman do that , blah blah blah ..

She was standing and I was sitting at the kitchen table as I looked to my left to get a better look at her as she talked. I called her bullshit on the husband and she shot me an angry glance. She had sexy eyes and some wild hair, a underlying anger about her that formed a sexy mix. She was a bit chubby which was beyond my usual tastes, but I was intrigued and thus the chase began that night. I managed to talk to her a bit that night, playing up the fact that we both liked to read - she liked to think of herself as an intellectual since she briefly attended some obscure, supposed to be impressive college. We began exchanging emails and intant messages after that night and it only escalated after I had left the company. I must admit that I did enjoy talking to her so time with her was not unpleasant.

This is a point where I have to interject another parallel story going on at the same time I chased this new target. I spent a lot of time with another female co-worker and we often talked about the aforementioned woman. The second woman thought the first was a snob and a bitch, and I really didn't have much to argue on that point since she really was both of those things. Now, me and the second woman ended up fucking one day at lunch and a few times after that (she had told me she gave the best bjs, but it wasn't true). One day at lunch we were talking about the first woman and was complaining about something the first had done at work that made her feel terrible, she had belittled her work in front of others. I made the comment "somebody should knock her off that high horse" and we both nodded. I proceeded to tell her the plan to turn the tables and yank her from the high horse hoping she'd land on her face - we both laughed.

As I spent more time with the first woman, it was apparent how little her husband wanted to be around her since she was always busy and he seemed to take every opportunity to be out of the house. A week before we finally fucked, as we kissed in the back of her car, she pulled away and "confessed" how she didn't want to hurt her husband and how he could never live without her. Yes, hilarious, I know, and it was especially funny at the time since I had since her husband on the freeway a week prior with a blonde female passenger (as a side note, he married that blonde much later). At the time, I told her I understood and told her we should stop before our lives implode, this only made her want it more. A week later, the husband is out of town and we are in her living room on the couch - clothes half off, about to fuck and she says "are we really going to do this?" and we do. Actually, we finished with me sprawled out on the floor and her giving me an amazing blow job - it was a weird scene as I looked up at a picture of her husband on the nearby mantel as I filled her mouth.

In truth, we only had real sex a few times over the many months, but she gave a helluva blow job. That word makes me think of a lunch time we spent in the park together when she drove the husband's car and she ended up blowing me in the backseat of that car. At this point, it is easy t realize that she had been pulled from that high horse, but the relationship continued well after that. During that time she professed her love to me and I lied and told her I loved her too, and all the while I filled in the other woman (her co-worker) on the details of the relationship. A side note on the second woman is she actually became friends with the husband and remained friends with the first woman who never knew what the other had known all along (or what she had did with her new love). It is worth noting here that I did go a bit too far with the first woman, I did get to a spot where I liked spending time with her, but never to the point where I wanted to be with her forever like she wanted. Well, at the end I began to see all of the shit that others saw in her - narcissism, snobbery, etc. The end was eventually a mess as she divorced and my well known depression sent me to a dark place where I almost didn't recover - not trying to be melodramatic, but my days were horrible as I lost a job and other work and almost lost it all. The low point was sitting in a cheap motel an hour or so away from home with a .38 in my lap. Anyway, that is another story. The end result is my own near marriage teetered on the brink of collapse, but it has emerged from the ashes much stronger and better than I ever could have imagined.

As I reflect back on the affair that almost destroyed me, it is astounding all the shit that was going on in my life. In addition to the two woman already mentioned, there were two others I was fucking at the time (one another co-worker of the first two and another from a new job I had). There was one week where I fucked them all and actually one day where I fucked one and then my affair lady (first one) gave me a bj with the smell of the first woman still on me. Yes, that is not good, and it is worth noting here that I was doing a lot of drugs during this time (drinking was added later). I did a lot of prescription drugs during this time and I am constantly amazed how nobody noticed during that time. It is amazing what a person will believe when the want to. There were a few times that I was so buzzed on drugs that I couldn't get a hard-on to do the deed with one of them. Well, this was always with the first who was never very physically attractive so that may explain a portion of it. I always explained the malfunction as stress related and being tired, there were never any questions. I had a subordinate of mine who became involved in drugs/alcohol a year or so ago and I immediately recognized what was going on as his transparent lies piled up and I eventually was able to get him to rehab.

It is weird to reflect back on these events. I think everybody involved is now in a good place with their lives back on track. I don't talk to any of them anymore, for good reason I guess. Really, only the first woman had big problems with what happened - the other three were just in it for some good times. It amazes me to realize how many lies I was juggling during that time and how easily some people took them hook, line and sinker. I know it was easy for me to be blamed after the fact, so I guess that makes them sleep better at night. It's funny to think of the secrets that still exist for some - them not knowing their co-workers/friends were laughing behind their backs and them not realizing the man in front of them never told the truth. It is true, one lie taints everything, so who knows what was true or false during that time - just assume it was all false. For me, the drugs are gone along with the alcohol and life is taken one day at a time. I've been blessed with an amazing woman who reached down and pulled me out of my own abyss when others failed me miserably. One moment in the previously discussed affair sums up that woman - I was on the verge of a breakdown and had revealed that to her (not the details) and the only thing she said to me was "does this mean you won't be able to finish that work this week?" as she referred to some side work she had gotten me for her company. That one sentence killed her to me, and made me want to hurt her badly regardless of whatever feelings that had formed. It makes me think that she was just like me during those times and she probably is still that same way, but who knows - a drug induced haze can put the brain in a fog.