Somewhere else

I woke up early this morning - it was an erratic night of sleep. I laid there, knowing I had to pee, the clock beamed 8:00 AM (this was early because I went to bed after 3:00 AM). I finally dragged my body out of bed and to the bathroom - a nice steady stream. I returned to bed and I had feeling - I had a crazy dream that I could not remember, but it had left me with a feeling. It was a feeling of wanting to be gone; wanting to be somebody else; wanting to leave. I started thinking - thinking about where I could go. I immediately thought of California - since I'm going there in a couple weeks. I thought about San Francisco, living there, working there, being there, nobody else around to get on my nerves. It went further, I thought about how I would look for a job in a couple weeks and where I could live. She turned over next to me and I looked in her direction. Where would she go? I contemplated just leaving, leaving her behind, getting a fresh start along in a new place. Then I thought about the boy and the grandbaby and I felt a pang of regret, I didn't want to not see them. Eventually, I went back to sleep.