Sleep deprivation

I never liked the move Insomnia, but the overarching theme of not sleeping and the way it affected Pacino's character in the movie was palpable - you could feel it and it wasn't good. I have battled sleep problems my whole life, but a few things to note:

• I was born at 10:30 PM, so I have a theory that it makes me a night person thus I want to stay up.
• I never had a formal bedtime from middle school onward, so I developed bad habits like staying up way too late and sleep walking through the next day. I would nap in the afternoons when home from school.
• I get grooving on a project, on work, reading, whatever and don't want to stop and sleep.

Of course, these items are under my control - uhm, like going to bed at a decent hour - but the flip side is I often cannot sleep when I actually do clock out at a decent hour. There is no worse feeling than staring at the ceiling; trying to make my brain stop; rolling over; realizing you have to pee and trying to ignore it but finally doing it; and just generally staring at the green beams from my clock while always doing quick math to figure out how much sleep I could get if I went to sleep right NOW.

Last night is a good example. I was in a groove with a writing piece and I kept working as the clock inched forward. Finally, I felt tired and at a good stopping point around 2:30 AM and shut everything down. In the back of my mind I knew as I laid down (she sound asleep) that it would not be a good night. My eyes flipped open as I settled into the high thread count sheets.

I turned, I rolled and finally sat up and went downstairs. I read until 4:00 AM and then laid on the couch, I finally dozed off probably around 4:30 before waking as she left for work at 6:00 AM. I returned to bed and naturally fell into a deep sleep only to be jarred awake as the alarm screamed at 8:00 AM. I briefly flirted with taking a day off or possibly a half day, but eventually realized it was a bad idea. It was one of the longest days of my life - I was so tired through the day that I felt sick. I ran out when the day ended, arrived home dead tired and somehow ended up with some afternoon delight (not sure what was up with her) which drained the rest of my energy. 

A nice two hours of sleep followed and I awoke with the concern of that sleep negatively impacting later attempts at rest. So, here I sit in bed, feeling really tired. Wish me luck!